Day 3

Same drill. Played Gardenscapes till late night. Woke up just half an hour ago. I think it’s because of that fireworks competition or whatever is going on in that game. Maybe I want to win that competition. Ok so I’ll give up playing it after this competition. Maybe that’ll satisfy me.

Since it’s hot summer. Waking up this late is not putting me in a good mood. It’s warm and sweaty even as I wake up. Obviously no mood to do anything productive and don’t feel that energetic pump of the morning. I think I should quit smoking right away and go for a 8 hour sleep every night. I hate Chennai summer days. Hot, moist and tiresome.

I feel like S (my ex) is not interested in talking to me. It feels very confusing. Sometimes I just decide not to disturb her and not message. Then she messages saying something about her day. Then when I reply, she resorts to one word replies and sometimes just stops replying back. I’m confused. I know down inside I still wish we could get back together. I’ve never gotten interested in anyone else although it’s been almost 2 years since we broke up. I wish. But I’m not pushing for anything. I’m fine if she’s happy. What should I do though? I think I should just go about my day not thinking about it and talk to her normally. Maybe she’s just busy with her work. Let me see if this passes.

I need some acrylic paint for painting on furniture. All shops are closed due to the COVID-19 lockdown. The supermarkets don’t have acrylic paints. Hope they’ll all open after May 3rd. I’m really tired of this lockdown. Not that I get out of house a lot. But unavailability of things is driving me nuts. I need to make a standing desk by this weekend. I have plywood, paint, glue and screws. Tomorrow’s a holiday. I guess I can get that done tomorrow. I should make a design today for it.

3 tasks are to be completed at work. Work-from-home is not working for me. People keep messaging and calling at random times of the day. I’m almost at the verge of starting to ignore them altogether outside of working hours. I think since they live with their families they’re putting work in-between the times they spend with their families. Hence the random timed calls and requests. And a couple people are down right incompetent. I think I should tell them to buck up and put some effort.

Not keen on cooking today. Should I order take-out? S has said me not to order – because of the pandemic. But I feel so lazy. I don’t even want to cook anything. Let’s see if my motivation improves. I also hope I will have some time to practice my piano today.

I started learning to play piano a few days ago. I had a piano (digital) lying around idle for quite sometime. I finally got around to buying an online course to learn to play it. I hope I’ll stick to it and get a good new skill. I’ve always liked the piano and even asked my parents to get me piano lessons as a kid. But there was no piano teacher close by to the area that we lived in. Will a childhood wish stay alive all these years enough to become actual motivation? Let’s find out.

Finally! Kept the journal habit going. 3 days now. Not strong. But steady? Yes.

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