Day 2

I did the most useless thing last night. I kept playing Gardenscapes on my mobile until I got a number-one high score. I kept playing as my eyes burned and then woke up just a few minutes back with my eyes still burning. It’s 10 o clock now. Yup, I kept up the commitment and am writing first thing in the morning. But this is not the time I had in mind. I was thinking I’d write at 5 or 6 in the morning with a cool weather and birds chirping. I wonder why I kept playing that game yesterday.

Mom and Dad visited yesterday – for the birthday. I wish they didn’t. The very reason I’m alone in this flat is that I wanted to get away from them. Also, there was no reason to break curfew. There’s a terrible disease spreading and they should know better to stay home. There’s a baby in their house! And they’ve never cared about my birthday in the past anyway. I wonder why they did come though. My mom brought some food – which obviously was made by someone else. It wasn’t good and didn’t relate to me at all. It just felt like they gave me leftovers. I just waited impatiently till they left. I am grateful that I had parents that could give me education and a decent life – but I wish they don’t come here to my flat. It reminds me of the loveless, neglected life I had as a child.

Quite a lot of work at office. Got stuck all evening yesterday with an annoying person from work. The kind of person who over explains stuff and has no capability to listen. I try to be nice to all people but yeah, some of them really tick me off and make me avoid them when possible. Should find a way to handle annoying people – something better than quietly smiling as your blood pressure shoots up inside.

Every morning I’m waking up with a weird chest/back pain. Which is there for around an hour. I don’t know whether it’s because of the smoking or the bed or it’s just gas. It’s there and it goes away after an hour or two. I should quit smoking and reduce some weight. Let me see if it goes away if I so some light workout in the morning. I still think it’s gas though.

Oh I thought I wouldn’t be negative here, but I just realised this post is mostly negative. Fine. Let me think of what I’m glad about today.

Oh God I really can’t think of anything. I’m not really happy about anything right now. My chest feels heavy from all the smoking and my whole body feels uncomfortable due to overweight and bad posture, and my eyes are burning and I feel like I’m having a hangover. Is writing in the morning a bad idea? Is this how I really feel in the morning? Maybe instead of first thing in the morning, I should write after having a coffee and a light workout. Workout would make me feel lighter I believe.

Okay. Let me go take a shower and see if I feel any better. Tomorrow then.

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