Day 1

Happy Birthday!

I realise at 35, your birthday doesn’t feel like your special day. A total of 5 6 people have wished me for my birthday – 4 5 of them relatives and 1 is my ex. A few years back I removed my birthday from Facebook – which caused the number of birthday wishes to fall immediately to single digits – which is good. I’m not comfortable with the attention anyway.

I was sitting awake till about 3 o clock yesterday and woke up at 9:30 in the morning. I have kept leftovers in the fridge – so I suppose I won’t have to cook anything today. But I think I have enough office work to keep me occupied for the day.

I’m not gonna fall back again into the big trap of doing a magical make-over of my life overnight. I realise my life is so .. sooo .. far away from where I’d like it to be. And nothing’s gonna change right away. And I’m a severely commitment-phobic person. So let me take these changes step by step. Little baby steps. And hope I’d live to make all of the changes I’d like to make.

So step 1. The first commitment I’d like to keep is to this journal. I’ve to consolidate and put in my thoughts down every morning. So some guidelines for my journal –

  1. This is a positive place. I know that life isn’t very good right now. But I do have a lot of things to be happy about. Although I will write about my problems here, the overall objective is to focus on the good things and build upon it.
  2. Plan my day .. most days. I really don’t believe in to-do lists. When I tried those, they became just another way to procrastinate. ( Is this journal a way to procrastinate? .. hmm .. ). But I think I should gather my thoughts and come up with at least 1 or 2 important tasks that I’d like to complete for the day.
  3. Take it seriously. 500 words at least. Obviously the most important priority is to log in and put some words. At least just an ‘x’. But for this to be effective, I’m keeping the second priority to write atleast 500 words everyday.
  4. First thing in the morning. Why? Because it’s easy to skip this task at night and just to go sleep. This way, even if I don’t feel like it on some morning, I still would have the entire day to complete this task. Also, I tend to think very positively in the mornings and very negatively at nights. First thing in the morning would be good for this I think.
  5. No Multitasking. No Breaks. No edits. I should do this at one sitting every day. Not while listening to songs or switching tabs to watch YouTube videos. Not split through the day. Not keep coming back to edit it. Just one sitting in the morning. Finish it and carry on with my day. Can come back to it tomorrow.
  6. Write for myself. This should probably be the number one on this list. What I write here is for myself to reflect on. Other people reading this is not an important goal at all.

Oh so much to change! So many habits to build! So many habits to kill! So many things to achieve! It feels overwhelming when I think of it all. I should not think of it. One step at a time. One step at a time. Don’t brood over the past. Just start moving forward. One step at a time.

No birthday parties. No treats. Just a calm, peaceful birthday. Just the way I like it.

Thank you God.

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